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How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Jun 7th
Dear Wimble,
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
InsaneBoi
Dear InsaneBoi,
As you may already know, this is one of the most popular questions in the world. Not only has practically everyone heard the question, but hundreds have spent many hours trying to solve it. You, on the other hand, have spared yourself those many hours by asking the Great Wimble.
Now, the main problem with this question is that there is no timeframe. How can one calculate how much would a woodchuck could chuck if you don’t know how long it is to be chucking this wood? Well, we can take a few approaches. Let’s assume that we wanna know the amount over the lifetime of the woodchuck. The average lifespan of a woodchuck is 8-9 years. We’ll use 8. Now, how often is the woochuck actually chucking at this wood? Well, considering the fact that woodchucks are only ever above ground for an average of 2 hours every day, we’ll use that since they probably aren’t chucking this wood while they are underground. Now, let’s say they can chuck approximately 10 grams (approximately the size of an acorn) every 30 minutes. That gives us a total of 40 grams every day. Since they probably don’t have days off like us humans do, then that’s 7 days a week, which is 280 grams a week. Now, since they probably don’t get vacations from their jobs either, that’s 52 weeks a year. That turns out to be 14,560 grams a year. Lifespan of 8 years will make that a total of 116,480 grams of wood chucked throughout their lifetime. That’s approximately equal to 250 pounds of wood. WOW!!!
Now, if we get back to the question at hand. “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well, I’d have to say 0 grams. Why, do you ask? Because I know damn well that I’ve never seen a woodchuck throw a piece of wood. Therefore, they can’t chuck wood.. 
Hope I was able to answer your question. Hope to hear from you again.
Wimble
How do you know when you’re in love?
Jun 6th
Dear Wimble
How do you know when you’re in love?
Tain
Dear Tain,
Well, Tain, I’m glad to see that someone has actually tried to stump me. Love is a very, very difficult topic to talk about. It’s even more difficult to know when you are actually in love. However, have no fear, for the Great Wimble is here. I spent quite some time pondering this question myself, and I believe I have finally come to a conclusion.
When someone falls in “love” with another person, is it really love? Perhaps it’s merely the urge to be with someone, or simply lust (not that there’s anything wrong with that). That is what makes it so difficult to answer this question, because those feelings can be easily confused, or hard to pinpoint. So, what do I have to tell you?
Well, the most important thing that you can do is to step back and take a look at things outside of your little circle. For example, one may be able to simply go into their bathroom and take a look into their “tain” (for those of you who don’t know, tain is the tinfoil backing of a mirror). When a person does this, they are able to see themselves, and makes it a lot easier to try to view yourself from outside of your little circle. When you carefully inspect yourself, only then can you determine if you are really in “love”. You’ll notice certain things about yourself that are different from when you were not in “love”. You’ll notice very small changes in your life since this “love” has come along. Although everyone experiences different changes, there are some that are more common than others. For example, you may notice that you are late for appointments, or that country living becomes more appealing, and even that things and people around you seem taller (just to name a few). Only then will you know you are truly in “love”.
I hope I was able to answer your question. Please keep in mind that I am not a professional and that this is all meant for entertainment purposes only.. 
. Hope to hear from you again.
Roger and out,
Wimble
Whaaaaaasssssuuuuuupppppppp?
Jun 5th
Dear Wimble,
WhWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuopppppppppp?
Red
Dear Red,
Dear, dear, dear Red… I’m not real sure where I should begin with answering this “question”… I mean, honestly, I can go almost anywhere with this one. I could actually be direct and tell you what is happening with the Great Wimble, but where’s the fun in that? So, I’ve decided I’m gonna start out by taking everyone on a little grammar lesson…
When I first read this “question”, there were a few things I couldn’t quite figure out. Let’s take a look at it like this:
Original Question: WhWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuopppppppppp?
Now, let’s break that down a bit.
New Question: WhWasuop?
Now, let’s look at that for a minute. I couldn’t quite figure out at first what your “question” was actually saying. I was also having an extremely difficult time trying to pronounce your “question”… You try it, and let me know. Fortunately, due to my pure genius, I was able to decode it. “What was in your soup?” That’s what I got out of it. Of course, the soup part of it could have been a simple typo too, since you spelled it “suop”. Unfortunately, I’m not real sure what soup you happen to be talking about.
Well, I will have to apologize for not being able to tell you what was in my soup. But thank you for your “question” and I hope to hear from you again.
Wimble
When are you going to get a job?
Jun 4th
Dear Wimble,
When are you going to get a job? Hmmmm?
Mom
Dear Mother-Dearest,
You know, some people may think about this question a lot. However, me, being the great, mighty Wimble does not have to ever even consider this question. I would give you a straight up answer… but that’s rather boring. So, let’s look at it this way:
Let’s see… What good is a job?
Money!!!
Experience
Money!!!
Ok, that’s all for that… Now, what are the downsides of a job?
Little free time
Jobs are never “fun”
Have to do what your told
Bosses are always A-holes…
Ok.. I’ll stop there before it gets outta hand… Now, when you compare the ups and downs, the only real benefit of a job is the money, correct? Ok, now that that’s agreed upon, let’s talk about Money…
Money, of course, can have its benefits… but does it really bring happiness? NO… Sure, with money I’ll be able to go out and buy everything I’ve ever wanted, but will I be happy with that?? (ok, maybe, but that’s beside the fact). However, with money comes the fact that I SHOULD save it… Question here is, why save money? Just to let it set there while you stare at it drooling as you ponder everything you could possibly buy with that money…
Ok, I’ll stop there… I think I got a little off topic, so let me get back on track. When will I get a job? I’m always working. Sure, I may not get paid for some of the work I do, and a lot of the work I do may not ever accomplish anything, but I still work. This webpage is work, and it’s fun work.. (maybe there is a correlation between not getting paid and work being fun…. HMMMM).
So there’s your answer… I, the Great Wimble, already have a job, or two, or three, etc… Hope I was able to help.
Wimble
What will I be doing in five years?
Jun 3rd
Dear Wimble,
What will I be doing in five years??? Oh.. and why do dogs chase cats???
NOVELLA=)
Dear NOVELLA=),
As you may know, I don’t necessarily claim to be a psychic, although I do occasionally have psychic experiences, or is it psychotic? Hmmm.. Either way, your first question is extremely difficult to answer. Based upon the years of research I’ve put into the general topic of what people will be doing in the future, I’ve learned the following, which most likely will apply to you as well as most other people. For starters, the future is not going to be DRAMATICALLY different than things are now. Unless something drastic occurs within 5 years, that I don’t see coming, cause I’m not psychic, then here is what you will be doing in 5 years. I see you sitting in front of your computer, typing a message to me, and your other friends of course. I also see you going to work on a normal basis. Can’t really tell where you’ll be working, but I’m seeing a lot of animals around, and people too… hmmm… I can also see your husband standing over your should from time to time, and doing little …. things … OK, I’m not going to go there…. I pretty much see you doing practically the same things as now, but with a few differences…
Now, why do dogs chase cats?? That’s definately the harder of the two questions. Of course, before I can answer this question, you all must realize that It’s just not true that animals don’t have a conscience. It’s just not true, to say the least. Anyways, with that aside, I can get back to why dogs chase cats. It’s quite simple really, when you think about it. You must also keep in mind that not all dogs chase cats. Some dogs just adore their cat friends. Again, back to the question at hand.
Well, Dogs are like those people who just like to get on people’s nerves, but in a fun way, since they are always wanting to play. Cats on the other hand, are like those people who just lay around all day and do absolutely nothing. Well, Dogs realize this, and find that Cats are “easy” targets to “make fun” of for a laugh. So, they chase the Cats. Cat obviously runs because they don’t know what the Dogs are going to do to them (scared), and the Dogs are just having a ball of a time because they think it’s extremely funny…
So, there you have it.. now you know what you’ll be doing in 5 years, and you also know why dogs chase cats. Hope I was able to help ya…
Wimble
Three Questions
Jun 3rd
Dear Wimble,
Three Questions:
1) What is your name?
2) What is your Quest?
3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?
InsaneBoi
Dear InsaneBoi,
Wow, we got us a triple question here. I can tell you are trying to stump the Great Wimble. Unfortunately, that will never be possible. But I applaud your attempt.
Question #1) What is my name? That’s an easy one. The Great Wimble of Tech.
Question #2) What is my quest? My quest is to seek all that is Holy.
Question #3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow? Now this is the “stumper”. Fortunately, it’s easy for the Great Wimble. First of all, let me point out that you actually want to know the speed of an unladen swallow. It’s also important to know whether you mean an African or European swallow. But, in all seriousness now, the average top speed of a swallow is about 45 mph.
Hope I was able to answer your questions. May I cross the bridge now?
Wimble